Uber and Lyft Partner with Police Unions Across The Nation In “You Need Us More Than We Need You, You’ll See!” Marketing Campaign. August 21, 2020 news & eic Uber, Lyft and several police unions today announced an unconventional partnership, banding together over their shared complaint that the world is Post Office To Combat Election Fraud With More Easily Defrauded Electoral System August 16, 2020 news & eic In an effort to strike back against what many perceive to be preemptive attacks by the current White House, the USPS today made a surprise Police Officers Decry Citizen Use Of Police Profiling Strategies To Combat Police Brutality August 10, 2020 news & eic & law_enforcement Police Officers in Nutley, N.J. are in a state of panicked shock after learning that a bout of their police brutality was publicized on Twitter, Several American Territories Form Coalition of “United States” To More Effectively Negotiate for Lives of Citizens August 5, 2020 news & eic In a surprising turn of events, seven governors have announced shared entry into a unifed purchasing compact. The non-partisan deal is an effort to Fraternity Members Everywhere Shattered By Destruction In Beirut August 4, 2020 news & eic Fraternities across the country were rocked today by the news that Beirut had experienced a calamitous event that left hundred dead and thousands NBA Uncovers New Source of Pandemic Income: Custom Protest Jerseys July 30, 2020 news Like most industries, the NBA has taken a huge financial hit during the coronavirus. But now that they’re finally able to return they’ve landed upon Racists Attempt to Co-Opt The Attire of Cool Guys Everywhere July 28, 2020 news Cool dudes everywhere were stunned to find out today that a group of total dorks are out to co-opt their traditional attire of Hawaiian shirts – and Craven Political Operative To Give Congress A Real Piece Of His Mind July 28, 2020 new & eic & corruption Attorney General William P. Barr will appear before the House Judiciary Committee today – and in a break from tradition, it will not be a normal Reagan Library Mortified At Association With (Second) Dementia-Addled TV Actor Put Forth By The GOP as Presidential Candidate July 26, 2020 news & eic & gop The Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation and Institute today released a statement requesting that “the Republican president – obviously suffering DeWalt Releases New “DHS-Proof” Leaf Blower July 26, 2020 news & eic Tool and construction supply manufacturer DeWalt has announced a new line of leaf blowers marketed directly at the protestors participating in the GOP In Disarray; Trump/Cruz Battle Over Whose Corruption Will Pay Out First July 22, 2020 news & eic & corruption The Republican Party is in disarray following a dispute between Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and President Donald Trump (Chaotic Evil-Florida) over Betsy DeVos: “Goya-Branded Masga Masks Hottest Back-To-School Schwag of 2020!” July 22, 2020 news & eic & covid “Make American Schools Great Again” is the slogan of a new ad campaign by food industry giant Goya – stepping out of their usual sphere and into the NBC Counterprogramming Latest WH Briefings With Old Apprentice Re-Runs July 20, 2020 news & eic NBC has been airing re-runs of old Apprentice episodes on weeknights in an apparent direct attempt to ‘counterprogram’ against the President’s Farmer Invites Fox Into Henhouse, Surprising Results July 19, 2020 news & eic & corruption A farmer in Billings, MT was surprised when – after inviting a fox to sit inside his henhouse – he later discovered all of his chickens had been PORTLAND: Unidentified Federal Agents Unable to Get Insurance Claims Processed, Court Rules July 16, 2020 eic & portland & law_enforcement & corruption A district court in Portland, OR today ruled that the unidentified federal agents recently observed kidnapping American citizens with no regard for Unindentified Federal Agents Incensed At Lack Of Unmarked Vehicle Selection July 16, 2020 eic & portland & law_enforcement & corruption Multiple reports that Federal Agents engaged in extra-judicial kidnappings in the greater Portland area have entered complaints regarding the